This is, of course, the Sanitized-for-your-protection version. The may-not-be-safe-for-work version can be found here.
NEW YEAR NEW LINDSAY???: Today's the day LINDSAY LOHAN is scheduled to be released from rehab. And she's ready to stay out of trouble in 2011. Or so one's led to believe from her most recent tweet."Today is the first day of the rest of my life," She tweeted Saturday. Then she quoted Gandhi: "The future depends on what we do in the present."
Her future, by the way, will be decided in late February when a judge determines whether to relax the terms of her sentence. If Linds behaves herself, of course.
ON A RELATED REHAB NOTE ... DAVID ARQUETTE checked himself into rehab "for alcohol and other issues," TMZ reports. But not before he spent New Year's Eve partying at a Hollywood Hotel.
"He is doing this to show (COURTENEY COX) he means it and will do anything for her and Coco," says their souce. "He wants his family life back."And Courteney seems pretty impressed already. She issued a statement saying, quote, "I really admire David and his choice to take charge and better his life. I love and support him."
CELEBRITY WEDDINGS: We're only a couple of days into the new year and already two celebrities have made THE BIG MISTAKE!
VALERIE BERTINELLI wed in Malibu on New Year's Day. Guests included her "One Day at a Time" co-star Mackenzie Phillips, her "Hot in Cleveland" co-stars Jane Leeves and Wendie Mallick, and her EX-HUSBAND Eddie Van Halen.Meanwhile, SHANIA TWAIN walked down the aisle with Frederic Thiebaud in Puerto Rico. Well, actually, she walked down the beach ...
As you may recall, Shania's marriage to producer Robert "Mutt" Lange broke down in 2008, amid rumors he was romancing Thiebaud's wife on the down low. She, by the way, was one of Shania's closest friends.Related: 2010 Celebrity Weddings photo gallery
CELEBRITY BREAK UPS: Singer JOHN MELLENCAMP and wife #3 Elaine are getting divorced. And here's something that'll make you say 'hmmmm': MEG RYAN has been seen backstage at some of John's shows recently. And in October, they were spotted walking arm-in-arm in New York City.
I'm sure it's all innocent. She and Mellencamp are said to be working on some project together. It should be noted, however, that Meg is a CHEATING *&#@* who ran around on then-husband Dennis Quaid with Russell Crowe back in 2000!!!Related: 2010 Celebrity Break Ups photo gallery
COULD BE TRUE COULD BE CRAP: It may not be over for MILEY CYRUS' parents after all. The not-always-reliable "Star" tabloid claims they had lunch together last week in Nashville. Their souce says Miley's been "pushing them to reconsider and give their marriage another shot."
(--BILLY RAY and TISH filed for divorce in October, allegedly after Billy Ray found out Tish was having an affair with BRET MICHAELS.)SHOW US YOUR TWEETS: Just in case it got lost in the holiday shuffle, LEANN RIMES Tweeted about her engagement again ... "For those who haven't read, Eddie and I got engaged over the holidays. That's the news. It's for real this time and the first time EVER!"
Related: 2010 Celebrity Engagements photo gallery
Oh, and check this out: It also looks like Santa brought (bought?) LeAnn a new set of boobs for Christmas. She and Eddie took another one of their romantic Mexico getaways over the holidays and she sure looked way more endowed than in the past ...
CELEBRITIES WITHOUT MAKEUP: RUSSELL BRAND, posted this pic of wife KATY PERRY on Twitter over the weekend ...
He ended up taking it down, but not before we - and every website in existence- could copy and post it!!!KARDASHIAN KAOS: 1.) KIM KARDASHIAN debuted her new 'do last week ...
Yup, cornrows. You think black men will pay attention to her now? 2.) KHLOE KARDASHIAN will be working on yet another reality show. Khloe and hubby Lamar Odom will begin shooting a JESSICA SIMPSON-NICK LACHEY style "Newlyweds" show starting this spring.
QUOTE/UNQUOTE: "I am intelligent. I am. But people don't give you enough credit for having a brain." -- PAULA ABDUL, yesterday in a "CBS Sunday Morning" interview.
She added, quote, "I've never had a drinking problem. I've never physically been drunk in my life. I've never been drunk in my life. I don't use recreational drugs. But, I am goofy." I believe her. I mean, who has time to drink when you're busy popping pills?
